Partner diary 4: softish connection, afternoon delight

By Catherine

16 April 2023: Soft penetration allows us to return to our regular afternoon delights. Eight months after my husband’s cytoprostatectomy, we are able to reconnect sexually without fussing too much about how hard his erections are. Here are some more notes on his ongoing recovery and how it has been recently for us in our relationship.

Nocturnal erections showing hope

The good news is that my husband has now regular nighttime erections, sometimes quite strong. But… when he has these erections, he loses drops of urine. This upsets him, but he hopes it will return to normal.

An ancient remedy for penile shrinkage

About reduction in penis size: perhaps we are lucky, but here is the way we overcame this problem. My husband stand in front of me and I take his penis in my mouth, sucking gently. After less than two minutes his penis regains nearly two inches. It’s incredible!

Soft penetration works for us

We no longer make advance plans for sexual activity. Spontaneity is far much better for us. As before cystoprostatectomy, we like to sleep after lunch. Kissing and caressing each other, my husband has some kind of erection and often we try penetration. That works 90 percent of the time.

Probably he is not totally hard (we never checked !). But we reach orgasm at the same time nearly every time. It is fabulous. For information, my husband takes daily 5 mg of tadalafil since cystoprostatectomy and we have sexual activity nearly everyday (as before).

Our message: do not wait for correct erection to try penetration. A penis feels much better in the place where he is intended to be than anywhere else !!!

Editor’s note: For more about this from others please see