Using a Vacurect pump to support sexual intercourse

Men suffering from erectile dysfunction can use a Vacurect or similar pump to support sexual connection. It’s the only completely drug-independent way I know to coax an erection out of a flaccid penis. For those recovering from prostate cancer, it is also an excellent part of your rehab programme – please read this companion article on penile rehabilitation.

Whether you use PDE-5i drugs (common brands are Viagra and Cialis) or not, a vacuum erectile device (VED) like the Vacurect can produce a firmer erection that is completely within your control to produce and release.

Quick and drug-independent treatment for erectile dysfunction

I was thrilled to have my old friend stand up to full height for the first time after months of surgery-induced ED, with just a few pumps of my Vacurect, which I learned about from Victoria Cullen’s helpful website ATouchySubject.

When I started with the pump I was also taking 5 mg daily Cialis, but I have continued with the pump after stopping the drugs. My head feels much better and the pump works just as well.

I know men who have continued using a pump for ten years or more. It supports a happy and fulfilling sex life with their partners – even into their 80s. One 60+ single man even offers his partners the choice of “which erection they want to play with. They can choose his softer natural erection, or a harder pumped up one – each has its own merits!

For me it was not simple to get to this state of ease in sexual situations with a VED.

Getting sexy with a pump is awkward

I was rather disappointed to find that pumping up an erection is a lot trickier in sexual situations than in private rehab sessions. You need to get your head right, and you need to talk to your partner about this, before you try to engage in penetrative sex with the help of the Vacurect.

Initially I found it so disappointing that I came close to giving up altogether on sex with my partner. My erections were not what they used to be. It really is a lot less spontaneous to make love when you have to use a mechanical pump to get an erection. (There’s a lot to be said for learning more about erectionless lovemaking – look out for forthcoming blog posts.)

Humour and preparation – essential ingredients to use the pump in the bedroom

The most important accessories for your pump in sexual situations are

  • talking to your partner
  • planning
  • you and your partner’s senses of humour.

You’ve got to laugh – and remember this is about making love. “Making” gives the lie to all that stuff about spontaneity. You simply have to make a plan to weave the pump and the ring into your sex life.

To do this, you simply have to talk about it with your partner. Read more on the relationship aspects and what I learned from my wife about how all the fumbling can create something special with love. A couple in their 70s and 80s share their remarkable story here.

Get over your fantasies about spontaneity. You were not born yesterday. Things have changed. You might as well laugh or else you’ll cry.

Practical steps to pumping for penetration when you have ED

To use the pump for penetrative sex with ED, you need a tighter cock ring than for penile rehabilitation. I chose the Vacurect because the fitting of the ring is integrated with the pumping action. Also the simple hand operation gives plenty of control about how hard to pump.

Here are the steps for getting pumped up without too much mess or leakage using a Vacurect. The cock ring has to be tight enough at the base of your penis to keep you erect when you remove the pump. That takes quite a tight squeeze – significantly tighter than whatever orifice you want to penetrate.

cock ring size for vacuum pump

The ring has to be this small!

I was shocked and my male ego was dented by the small size of ring I needed to use. The one that works for me fits  loosely on my biggest finger, which is a lot thinner than my (average sized) erect penis.

Remember your nerves have been damaged or disabled (whether by surgery or other causes). They can’t control the muscles that normally keep the blood from leaking out of your erection. And the ring needs to be tight enough not to let blood flow out of your erection while you are pushing and pulling and flexing all the surrounding muscles during sex.

First try out the tighter rings on your own. Find one that is tight enough to keep your erection up even when you remove the pump. I found that it created a mild ache. It is not really painful. And it’s definitely worth the discomfort for the joy of re-engaging sexually after months of ED.

Integrating the pump into lovemaking

Some men feel like they need to pump in private and that’s OK so long as your partner can amuse themself while waiting. After a while my wife and I have found it more satisfying to integrate pumping, as in “do you want to get your pump and ring?” or “I think I am going to need the pump to take this further.”

You also need to be relaxed about guiding your pumped-up penis to its target. Let you own hand or your partner’s hand be a guide. I have done a ton of pelvic floor exercises to strengthen the muscles at the base of my erection, which makes it less of an unguided missile or “hinged truncheon” when pumped up, but I still need help and guidance.

Another couple’s story: joyful and inventive lovemaking aged 77 and 82 respectively.

Additional penis rings (updated November 2021)

If you are finding the Vacurect rings uncomfortable for sexual purposes, here’s a more comfortable workaround. I got this idea from the Recovering Men support group and it works for me: simply add a second softer ring.

This kind of ring is soft and stretchy, typically about 7 millimetres thick and with a surprisingly small diameter in its unstretched state. Here’s the one I got very inexpensively at the local adult store.. Note how easily it stretches.

soft stretchy cock ring to support erections

Soft rings are even smaller than Vacurect rings before stretching

Note how easily these softer rings can stretch.

You can use these softer rings alone or in combination with the harder Vacurect rings. Some men find it helps to pump with the Vacurect, then after removing the pump, pop on the extra softer ring in addition to the Vacurect ring. It makes it possible to use a looser and more comfortable Vacurect ring.

As my recovery has progressed and I don’t always need the pump, I have found it really helps me maintain my erection to use just the soft ring and nothing else.

What to remember about using a penis pump for sexual intercourse

  • Don’t leave the cock ring on for more than 30 minutes. This is important for your health as the ring inhibits free blood flow.
  • The cock ring you use may have to be two or three sizes tighter for penetrative sex, as compared to masturbation or penile rehab, because of the movement and squeezing involved.
  • If you use the additional soft stretchy type of ring pictured directly above, you might be able to get by with a not-quite-so-tight Vacurect ring.
  • Keep communicating with your partner and laugh when it gets awkward or messy.

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Comments

By Rhys Leeming 12 July 2021: Better to get some tumescence before you slip the ring on IF YOU CAN. The more the better.  You simply get a better erection and one that lasts better.